As I entered the squad room today at the mature hour of 5:00, I almost immediately experienced a painful sense of hunger. I was so hungry in fact, that I even considered calling back that Canadian company and asking them if they could immediately deliver the sandwhich that i ordered several months ago. However, after several minutes, I remembered that I always ride my bike armed with a gallon sized plastic back full of garlic noodles. What a great idea, right? Whenever I get hungry, I just grab that bag and start eating. Although I was a little dismayed that i could not find my tub of pepper that I hid in the squad room on friday, I figured that my delicious noodles would supply a satisfying snack. I unzipped my back pack and almost fainted with horror. MY NOODLES WERE GONE. Blast!! How could this happen. I know I put the noodles in the bag, and the bag in my back pack. Somebody STOLE my delicious snack. All the debaters ask me "JP, why do you always leave your lights and your TV on when we go on debate trips?" Well, shouldn't that be obvious?! People are always stealing my stuff. When a man's noodles are no longer safe, we know that we live in a cruel, cold state of existence. I turned my back pack inside out and emptied out the remains. To my suprise, a few noodles slid slowly onto the table in front of me. The bag must have ripped when the wicked thief made his escape. Luckily, the tastiest noodles survived and I was able to enjoy one delcious mouth full.

That mouth full (pre-digestion of course) is shown in a sorrowful picture above. After the construction of my personal pepper mill, I believe I will attempt to creat a bullet proof zip lock bag with a self locking mechanism and burgler alarm. That will show the chump who thinks he can just take my noodles and run! To all you nice people out there, goodnight. To the noodle thief, BEWARE "THE" RAMOS.

J before P except after C.